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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Early Morning Farm - and a Birthday

 Early Morning Farm
Oil on canvas, 12x24
Please contact me for price and delivery options 

On Thursday, I turn 57. It’s not a monumental year, not a 40 or a 50 or a 65. It’s one of those strange ages – 32, 37, 43. Indeterminate. Unheralded. Not loaded with meaning.

At this edge of this unimportant age, I realize that I do not miss my youth.

I miss my young knees and my young skin. I miss the red hair that for so many years was the bane of my existence.

But the rest of it, I am glad to leave behind. The struggles to define what my heart wanted, and to show what my brain knew. The fight to get ahead, to climb, to earn praise and promotion.

These days, I realize more and more that I know less and less. I read things I wrote back then and wonder at what I knew – and what I was happy to imply that I knew. I think I was smarter then – and certainly, I was interested in seeming smarter.

These days,  I realize, I desire less and less. I buy clothes only when I need them. I rarely wear jewelry. For my birthday dinner, I’m hoping my husband will cook burgers and oven fries, and I’ll splurge with an extra slice of cheese.

I have no regrets, not really. I wish I had the money that I spent on clothes and jewelry and other fancy things – but that spending brought me many happy moments, and I don’t regret a second.

These days, these insignificant days in the middle of an insignificant decade, these days I’m happy to be doing the work of a lifetime, making art and selling it to people who are made happy by it.

I am happy with the today’s gifts: a gentle sunrise, a loving dog, a husband I adore, a family and friends who stand by my side, no matter what. 

I'm happy to live in a small house in a small town in a beautiful place, and to live a quiet little life, rich with faith and hope and the joy of making beautiful things.

Thank you, all of you who read my blog, and buy my paintings, and accompany me on this adventure. Thank you for enriching my life with your presence and support. 



5 comments:

hw (hallie) farber said...

Thank you and Happy Birthday. Your blog is wonderful; I enjoyed every stop and painting on your trip out West. I, too, was a redhead and it was the bane of my existence--now I miss it.

Your paintings are voluptuous--filled to the brim with beauty.

Carrie Jacobson said...

Hallie, thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I'm very happy that you like the blog and the paintings - and you know about the whole redhead progression. Such a horrible thing as a child (and I was tall AND large, too) - and such a gift as an adult. Now my hair is sort of gray/blonde.

It's a real gift to share bits and pieces of this life with people like you, through the internet - I love it!

Best wishes,

Carrie

Sara said...

Hi Carrie,
Sorry I missed your birthday...sounds like you had a great day.
Thank you so much for all your inspirational blog posts...they really make my day when I read them. It's so nice to see you following your dreams, and I just love your paintings!
Sara

Carrie Jacobson said...

Thanks, Sara! I did have a great birthday, and please don't fret for a moment. I am lucky to have you in my life - you and your projects help inspire me daily. And that reminds me that I need to buy a book and remind my blog readers about it again! After the show this weekend.

skdd said...

This one spoke volumes to me. Nice meeting you Carrie.