Three Geese

Three Geese / Oil on black canvas / 4x12 / $88, including shipping

these geese are gone ! 

YES, YOU'VE SEEN THIS painting before! But it didn't sell, and I don't know why! It is a charming piece, better in real life than in this photo... so I am posting it again, in the hope that it will find its way to its new home. 

I've come to think that that is what happens with paintings - that there is an owner, a designated buyer, for each painting. Maybe it's one, or maybe it's one of a group of people. But it is rarely casual. Again and again, I've watched people fall in love with my paintings. It's great! And it is visible - sometimes even at a distance. Someone will be way down the street, and spot a painting on the wall of my booth, and that's it. They have lost their heart, and they will buy that painting, no matter how little wall space they have. 

So I repost some of the bird paintings that have not sold, hoping that the reposting will help find the painting's rightful owner. 

***
Speaking of Shows

ALMOST ALL  MY SUMMER SHOWS are canceled. The one in Roanoke is still going on, I think, but I've chosen not to participate. I just can't imagine being in a 10-foot-by-10-foot tent with people, all wearing masks, all breathing (I hope), sweating, touching things - I can't do it. 

Some of the shows are hosting virtual, online shows, and the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts is one of them. I'll be selling paintings online during the show, and shipping will be free. I'll also be doing an online workshop, like the ones I do on my Carrie Jacobson Artist Facebook page on Saturdays at 1 p.m. Eastern. (Click here to reach that page). 

The workshops I've hosted so far are all available on my Carrie Jacobson Workshop Videos Facebook page - (click here).

The workshops are free, and last about an hour. On the videos page, you can stop them, and take your time painting. The live ones just go! 

***

For Today

Biological Reflection

A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint

Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't. 

- Ogden Nash

Owl

 Owl / oil on black canvas / 5x5 unframed / $68 includes shipping

sold!  

DURING THE GREAT CONFINEMENT, as my brother calls it, I've learned I can live without some things that, in my pre-covid life, I was pretty sure I needed. 

Art shows. There are some wonderful things about the art shows, some things that I miss terribly - the artist community, the delights of seeing artist and buyer friends, the excitement of showing my paintings to new viewers and old ones. But I do not miss the huge expenses, the giant outlays of energy, the exhausting days spent on 90-degree pavement or in brutally shadeless parks or parking lots. 

Lunches out. I enjoyed my lunches out with friends - but they broke up my painting days even more than I suspected they did. Having entire stretches of days to work is a blessing. My friends here are by and large retired, and tend not to remember that I'm still working. Still earning a living. 

Going INTO WalMart. I started using WalMart pickup long before the covid, but with two exceptions, that's the way I've shopped since March. It's great. 

Hair dye. Yup. The covid has helped me make peace with my gray/white/whatever hair. 

Starbucks. Or Dunkin' Donuts, or any takeout coffee. Who knew? Along those lines, turns out I can live easily and happily without half-and-half in my coffee. Back to black, as I drank it for the first 60 years of my life. 

There is plenty that I miss these days, every day - but plenty that I'm not. And I am delighted to be living a simpler, easier life. 

What have you found you can live just fine without? 

***

For Today

The Owlets at Nightfall

   The sun is sinking. Each minute the air darker. The night

thickens near the ground, pulls my body down to it. And if my body

is earth, then what? Then I am down here, thickening as night 

comes on.

   There are earth things, earthly, joined, they are snuggled down

in one manger, one sweep of arms holds them, one clump of pine,

the owlets sit together in one hollow tree...

   When night comes what has been sun in me all day will drop

underneath the earth, and travel sizzling along the underneath-

ocean-darkness path... There a hundred developed saints lie

stretched out, throwing bits of darkness onto the road.

   At midnight what has been moon in me will also vanish. I will go

down toward utter darkness and find myself in the prison cell with

Joseph. 

- Robert Bly

Egret

Egret / Oil on black canvas / 4x4 / $48 includes shipping

sold!

IT HAS BECOME SUMMER, here on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. In the mornings, I can smell the marsh, rich with dirt and mud, salt and decay, orchestrated by the salt air and thick humidity. When we walk, it feels like we are pushing through a curtain of moisture, the air is so damp, so sultry.

The greenhead flies have shown up and they are vicious, biting and snapping at Liesl and the dogs and me, enough that we will move our walks away from the marsh for the next couple weeks. They chase us inland, still, but not as they do along the edge of the mud. 

There will be no fireworks this year, no carnival. The huge family picnics that take place in the park every summer probably simply won't, this year. But the part-timers are here, driving faster than the rest of us, whether it's in cars or golf carts. 

And yet, as all this is happening, the days are shortening - and if you focus, you will notice. I've squandered the long lengths of the summer days this year, unable to last, with any hope or optimism, much past suppertime. But earlier in the year, I gave up earlier in the day, so that is progress, and I am grateful. 

***

For Today

River's Tale

The river flowers where I abide

   with yellow jonquils by its side

And somewhere in its broad meander

   runs roses wild and oleander

It springs down from the mountainside

   where brooklets play at seek and hide

It lazes here where flowers grow

   to swell with pride in early snow

And then to find a peaceful end

   somewhere there around the bend. 

- Guy Wilkins

From "Day Moon and other poems"

Mountain Sunset

Mountain Sunset / oil on canvas / 8x24 / $185 including shipping

sold! 

AGAIN, I FIND MYSELF TIRED, at this not-so-late end to the day. I did get up early, a little after 4:30. I transplanted some tomato plants and watered the gardens, and then Liesl and the dogs and I walked for an hour. 

I did a WalMart pick-up, attended a Zoom meeting, painted a little, talked to my counselor, then painted again until late in the afternoon. I loaded the van with paintings to bring to one of my patrons tomorrow. Now I am watering the garden again and wondering why I am so tired. But when I list it all out like this, it looks like enough to make anyone tired. 

Still, I recognize that underneath everything, I am indeed tired. Losing Peter has taken from me a few degrees of - what? - youth? hope? optimism? energy? all of the above?

My days used to begin with the thought of the joy of a day of painting and cooking and doing stuff around the house. Now, my first thought is that he is gone, and I am here alone. It is not all dark. Not all sad and dismal. But I wonder sometimes if I will ever be truly happy again. If I will ever feel the joy I used to feel. 

So I will take it easy now, put off the rest of the day's tasks until tomorrow, have a good dinner and revive my energy. It is all part of the process, I know. I just want the process to be easier.

***

 For Today

"In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks." 

- John Muir

Two Goats, Balanced on a Board Balanced on a Rock

Two Goats, Balanced on a Board Balanced on a Rock /

Oil on black canvas, 14x14, $350 including shipping

Interested? Please email me at carrieBjacobson@gmail.com

I HAVE PAINTED SOME BIRDS while I've been quiet here, but I'm holding them until July, giving the whole project a chance to rest a little. 

I've rested a little, too, though I must admit, sometimes it's felt like rest, and sometimes it's felt like being just low. Low energy, low heart, low soul, low mood. 

Partly, I think, it's because I decided against going to Rhode Island to see my daughter and her family. Just too many possible Covid intersections for me. Partly, it's just part of the process, I think. And partly, it's because I wasn't writing in this blog. 

I can't explain why writing in this public way is helpful to me. I've been writing in my journal the whole time, but it's not the same. There is something about writing for people to read that seems to help me heal. 

That means that there's something about YOU that seems to help me heal. So thank you. You're part of my rebuilding. 

***

For Today

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." 

- Douglas Everett

Scarlet Tanager

Scarlet Tanager / oil on black canvas / 4x4 unframed / $48 including shipping

sold!

I'M TAKING A BREAK next week from my bird-a-day project. I've painted and posted about 100 birds, or pretty much one a day (weekdays) since January. And thanks to you, I've sold most of them! 

My wonderful dog-sitter is available and willing to come to my house, so I am going to brave New Jersey, New York and Connecticut, and get to Rhode Island to visit my daughter for a few days. It will be a short trip, but long enough to give me a break, let me see some new sights. 

The birds will be back after my trip, though I might start mixing some other new pieces in with them. And I do wonder whether the birds have run their course? I've been thinking of a series of small florals - a Bouquet a Day. What do you think? 

Thank you for reading, for buying, for loving my paintings - and me. I know it, I feel it, I appreciate it. See you in a week or so! 

***

For Today

RECENTLY,  LIESL, LEXIE AND I have been letting Koko, Doc and Lulu run, in the fenced-in ballpark down the street from my house. Koko and Doc had run several times before, but Lulu has never been off leash anywhere but the back yard. Her joy (she is the one with the white legs) and her speed are remarkable. A quote in motion! 

Rufous-Sided Towhee

Rufous-sided Towhee / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 unframed / $68

sold! 

IT IS A HOT DAY, and humid. It feels like summer, and not like the start of summer - not like the start of anything. In many places in the yard, the grass crunches underfoot. The flowers are wilty. I am wilty. 

A few days ago, Norma Hickman, who was the oldest person in Wachpreague, died. I didn't know her, but my friend Liesl was her dear friend, and spoke of her daily. Norma had led a fascinating life, and was an expert on all things Eastern Shore, including Wachapreague, and the families of the Shore. As I got to know Liesl, I wanted to know Norma, but by that time, she was fading too quickly for new people. 

The night Norma died, a bright but far-off thunderstorm bloomed across the sky. I woke to see the lightning flashes, and Liesl, who was awake through it all, says she saw remarkable blue lights. 

These are called blue jets, and are a very rare event, according to the experts at the Weather Channel. (You can see photos and a video here). 

The night my mother died, there was a remarkable thunder and lightning storm - the lightning exploded all over the sky, again and again, in a night with heat much like today. And it went on and on and on, with distant thunder, and for an hour or more, no rain. Just the sky, lighting up, welcoming Mom. As the sky lighted up Sunday, welcoming Norma. 

To read her obituary, click here.  To read my mother's obituary, click here. And what the heck, while we are at it, to read Peter's obituary, click here. 

***

For Today

Sonnet 29

Pity me not because the light of day

At close of day no longer walks the sky;

Pity me not for beauties passed away

From field and thicket as the year goes by;

Pity me not the waning of the moon,

Nor that the ebbing tide goes out to sea,

Nor that a man's desire is hushed so soon,

And you no longer look with love on me. 

This have I known always: Love is no more

Than the wide blossom which the wind assails,

Than the great tide that treads the shifting shore,

Strewing fresh wreckage gathered in the gales:

Pity me that the heart is slow to learn

What the swift mind beholds at every turn. 

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Raven in Flight

 Raven in Flight / Oil on canvas / 5x7 unframed / $68 including shipping

THIS MORNING, the birds are singing, the air is clear and thin, and sweet with the smell of roses and honeysuckle and some white-flowered bush whose name I don't know. 

Yesterday, I saw a hummingbird, the second one I've seen all spring. And last night, I saw a firefly for the first time this year. 

The garden is blooming with coreopsis and tiger lilies, hostas and hollyhocks, and it is a day with promise and possibility and all the sunny length and breadth of June. 

And in every minute of it, every moment, I miss Peter, and long to share it all with him. 

I apologize if my memories and my sense of loss are too much for all of you. I thank you for reading, and for sharing and for being with me as I work my way through this. One thing I've learned is to hold my loved ones close, every day, and be gentle with them, and forgiving, and always, always remember that we are all here just for a moment. Just for this moment. 

***

For Today

"The main thing is to be moved, to love, to hope, to tremble, to live." 

- Auguste Rodin

Owl

Owl / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 unframed / $68 including shipping 

MOST OF YOU KNOW, I think, that I am a recovering alcoholic, clean and sober since 1987. It's a vital part of my life - one that makes all the other parts work - and was a vital part of Peter's, as well. We always said that we would stay married forever - unless one of us started drinking, at which point, without discussion, the marriage would be over. 

These days, meetings are done largely on Zoom, and that means you can go to any meeting anywhere. So on Friday, I attended a meeting in Des Moines, where the father of a former Eastern Shore resident was speaking about his 53 years of sobriety. 

His main message was that he began to find success in life and in sobriety when he turned his will and his life over to the care of his higher power. 

I realized, as I listened, that I've been holding on very tight since Peter died. I have structured my life around tasks - the bird project, training the dogs, walking every day, losing the final 19 pounds. Getting rid of things. Clearing the house out. Task upon task upon task. 

That's been fine. It's been necessary. It's been how I have been able to cope. But it has kept me from so much that I value - discovery, imagination, adventure, exploration.

I realized, listening, that I've been clenching my fists around my life, clenching my body around my tasks, holding tight, as tight as I can - and understandably, since so much that I held and held dear was suddenly just gone. 

So I have vowed to loosen up. To hand it all over to my higher power. To quit worrying, as much as I possibly can, and trust that the joy and peace and love and protection that I have always felt in my life will continue, and will hold me safe, and let me feel like living again. 

***

For Today

"The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine, forget self, 

think of others. Try this for a week and you will be surprised." 

- Norman Vincent Peale

Great Blue Heron

Great Blue Heron / Oil on black canvas / 5x5 unframed / $68 includes shipping

sold! 

MY BROTHER VISITED this past week. He was eager to see something new, some place new, ride his bike on different streets, escape his home for a while. I was glad to have him, as I have seen almost no one since March. I see Liesl, when we walk the dogs, and the occasional friend here and there. I see people at the post office, and most of the time, it's fine. But it was nice to have someone else in the house, someone to talk with, share meals with, discuss the day. 

We worked to empty the shed I have, and made great progress. With abandon and zeal, we tossed things away, and then we took our time going through boxes of memories, photographs, costume jewelry, things of our mother's, of mine, of mine and Peter's, and things that came from who knows where. 

If I had been alone, it could have been a sad task. But with Rand, it was fun. We talked and remembered, and learned a little about each other, even now, after all these years. 

Here are some of the photos

Here's me and Eric Bryson, going to his prom. 

From left, me, our sister Laurie, my brother Rand

Here's Rand last Sunday. We met for barbecue in Chincoteague, and it was delicious! 

Here's me with a tie-dye chicken made by Diana Davis 

and bought for me by my daughter Erika.

***

For Today

"Do a little more each day than you think you can possibly do." 

- Lowell Thomas

Wood Thrush

Wood Thrush / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 unframed / $68 including shipping

sold! 

WHEN WE LIVED IN MAINE, in a town called Bolster's Mills, we often heard the most beautiful birdsong emanating from the woods up the road from our house. 

It was a song that sounded like dawn, and like water, and like diamonds and like stars sparkling in the clearest of night skies. It was ethereal, and liquid and startling in its beauty. 

It was the song of the wood thrush, and you can hear it here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrmxlez2cAg

There are birds with more complicated songs, and maybe with more melodic ones, but somehow, the wood thrush sings to my heart, and always makes me feel as though I could soar. 

***

For Today

"If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Do not hoard it. Do not dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke." 

- Brenda Francis

Three Geese

Three Geese / Oil on black canvas / 4x12 / $78 including shipping

THERE ARE PLACES IN MY HOUSE where the dog hair collects. It's probably a combination of the layout of the house, the air currents, the architectural and decorative elements, and where the dogs (and people) tend to hang out. 

In this house, there's an unexplained step up from the kitchen to the living room, and at the base of that step, the hair collects. It's right by the trash can, so every time I go to toss a paper towel in the trash, I bend down first and swipe the linoleum at the base of the step. And every time - Every Time! - whether it is one time a day or 20 times a day (back when paper towels were not a luxury), I collect a small pile of dog hair. 

I started thinking the other day that there are surely places in my life and in my mind where things collect, in much the same way. Bits of architecture and pieces of mental furniture where thoughts become entangled, where they stop developing. Where they stick and stick, again and again, and probably will forever. 

I think these are thoughts and ideas about people, and thoughts and ideas about plans - and even thoughts and ideas about problems. The thoughts hit the bottom of the step and just stay there, collecting dust, until I either swipe them up and toss them out, or just forget about them. 

***

For Today

"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

- Abraham Lincoln

Bluebird on Post

Bluebird on Post / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 unframed / $68 includes shipping

sold!

I LOVE TIE-DYE. I always have, though up until a few years ago, I hadn't worn it in decades. But I had a couple pieces, and after I saw Peter wearing interesting combinations of prints and colors, I decided to start wearing my tie-dye pieces again.

Not only did I not worry if I had an interesting pattern on the top and a different interesting pattern on the bottom, I began seeking different interesting patterns - what a friend's mother used to call "fancies." One fancy was fine, she would tell him, but two fancies were a no-no. Whenever possible, I go for three fancies. Or more! 

A few years ago, I found a maker of wonderful tops - Cranky Girl Tie Dye (https://www.etsy.com/shop/CrankyGirlTieDye). I have bought Ts and sweatshirts from her for years. Peter was cremated in one of my Cranky Girl sweatshirts. He loved it when I wore that sweatshirt, and he coveted it, so it seemed right to send it with him. 

Late last year, I realized that I could get tie-dye pants, if I hunted for them. And I did have to hunt, but I found a marvelous maker! Her name is Carmen, and she is also on Etsy, at Ogeechee River Tie Dye (https://www.etsy.com/shop/ogeecheerivertiedye/) 

In the photo of Doc and me by the Dogfish sign, which I believe I posted recently, I am wearing Ogeechee River Tie Dye pants and a Cranky Girl tie-dye top. And my jacket makes a third fancy! 

The bluebird in the painting comes from a photo that Carmen took in her backyard! 

***

For Today

"The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; 

it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts." 

- Booker T. Washington

Ninja... or Maybe Ginger

 Ginger / Oil on black canvas / 4x4 / $38 including shipping

LAST WEEK, DIANA DAVIS and I met some other friends at a peony farm in Exeter, and we painted.

The peonies (and is it pronounced PEA-o-nee or pea-OH-nee? I learned the first, but people down here say it like the second. What about you?) were really done, the owners of the farm said, though they looked beautiful to me.

And no matter. It was a lovely day, it was great to See People - I've seen almost no one but Liesl since March - and there was plenty of room to paint, and to be social while also being distant.

An extra added bonus was a pair of brown and white turkeys - named Ninja and Ginger - which I believe are called Buff turkeys. According to Petslady.com, the Buff was listed as a heritage breed by the American Poultry Association (who knew?) in 1874. 

Very few birds were able to meet the APA's Standard of Perfection (isn't that always the case, with standards of perfection?) and so the breed was removed from the Standard and became extinct. But starting in the 19402, people worked to revive it, and the Buff, or Jersey Buff, as it is called now, has come back into being. It is a small- to medium-sized turkey, whose young toms weigh about 21 pounds. 

Ninja and Ginger were wandering around the peony farm when we arrived, and as we set up to paint, they came over, interested. They seemed to like me (the peony farmer said they can see bright colors) but they didn't seem to care for Diana. In the photo above, they are nibbling her.

Below, one of the paintings I made from our day at the farm. 

Peony Rows / Oil on black canvas / 4x12 / $78 including shipping

Sold! 

***

For Today

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." 

- John Wooden