Hawk

 

Hawk / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 / $68 including shipping

sold

MY FRIEND SUSAN MCGUIRE and I are have launched a painting-project page on Facebook. Susan is a wonderful painter, who uses all media but mostly, these days at least, watercolors. So our page is called Oil & Water, and you can find it on Facebook. Everything on the page, her work and mine, is $68 including shipping - and for you bird-painting fans, there are some bird paintings there that I haven't posted here yet. Click here to go to Oil & Water on Facebook! 

Some of the bird paintings on the new page come from a challenge I gave myself, early in January - to paint 10 birds in a day. I did it - but just by the skin of my teeth (and that is an odd phrase, if you stop to think about it!) 

You artists might consider making some nearly unattainable challenge to yourselves, especially if you are feeling dull or blocked. I had been painting a lot, in November and December -  all commissions. I love commissions, but a steady stream of them - painting other people's ideas, other people's desires - can blunt my own ideas, and somehow shorten my sense of direction and flow. For me, at least, there's nothing like a huge challenge to kick out the jams. 

And it needn't be a challenge of numbers, of quantity. I've challenged myself to use odd colors, minimal colors, only yellows, only large knives, only small knives, only straight strokes, only curving strokes, only 30 minutes, only 60 minutes. 

Once I tried to make a painting with strokes that went in a huge spiral out from a spot that was off-center. My aim was to stick to the pattern, while putting the colors, light, shadow in the right places. It didn't work, but continues to interest me as an idea. I think it involves too much planning for me, and feels too much like math. One of you might like to try it. Please send me the photo if you do! 

***

Coda

An Old Story

Sleep comes its little while. Then I wake

in the valley of midnight or three a.m.

to the first fragrance of spring

which is coming, all by itself, no matter what.

My heart says, what you thought you have you do not have.

My body says, will this pounding ever stop?

My heart says: there, there, be a good student.

My body says: let me up and out, I want to fondle

those soft white flowers, open in the night. 

- Mary Oliver

White Hawk

White Hawk / oil on black canvas / 5x7 / $68 including shipping

sold!

LAST NIGHT, AS I WENT TO BED, red lights started flashing on the tree limbs first, then the houses, then the street itself, and I watched as an ambulance and then a police car pulled up at the corner of Pearl and South streets. 

It instantly brought me back to the night that Peter had his heart attack, here, in the living room. The ambulance came - and was there a police car? I have no idea. EMTs came in and hustled to Peter, did things to him, put him in some sort of gurney chair. The lights flashed and flashed and flashed. Dave, a neighbor who has moved away, just walked in through the open door, and in the moment, I hated him, for intruding, for coming in uninvited, for offering to help. 

Last night, all of this rushed back and I turned away and went to bed, hoping only that whichever neighbor was in trouble would be OK. 

Today, I found out that it was a very nice man, Gene, and that he apparently had been badly dehydrated and would, indeed, be alright. Whew. 

***

Dad

DAD IS BETTER, after a pretty scary few days. He is still in the hospital, and is still far from well, but he was sitting up today, and I hear he watched football on Sunday. 

There is no talking to him. He has a phone in his room but it only calls out, and he apparently can't make it work without help. And there is little to no help. The hospital seems to be tremendously overloaded, probably with covid patients; it took my stepmother five hours the other day to get anyone to answer her call. 

Thank you for your kind words and for your prayers. I believe it all helps, and I hope you will all keep thinking healing thoughts for Dear Old Dad. 

***

Coda

Alone I Stare into Frost's White Face

Alone I stare into frost's white face.
It's going nowhere, and I -- from nowhere.
Everything ironed flat, pleated without a wrinkle:
Miraculous, the breathing plain.

Meanwhile, the sun squints at the starched poverty --
The squint itself, consoled, at ease ...
The ten-fold forest almost the same ...
And snow crunches in the eyes, innocent, like clean bread. 

- Osip Mandlestam

Red-Tailed Hawk

Red-tailed Hawk / oil on black canvas / 4x4 / $38 including shipping

sold!

A FRIEND'S HUSBAND DIED Monday, after a long and wearing illness. He'd been in a nursing home since January, and since April, with one exception, my friend had not been able to see him, because of the covid. 

The exception was last week, when he was very sick, and had been taken to a hospital, and she was allowed in, and could touch him and kiss him and hold his hand. 

It feels like there has been a lot of death lately, or maybe I am just noticing it more. 

The one thing I have learned from all of it is that it's up to me to live, as strongly and as bravely and as appreciatively as I can, every day, every hour, every minute. I owe it to Peter, to my mother, and I owe it to my family and my friends, and most of all, I owe it to myself. 

***

For Today

"In many traditions, hawks are sacred: Apollo's messengers for the Greeks, sun symbols for the ancient Egyptians and, in the case of the Lakota Sioux, 

embodiments of clear vision, speed and single-minded dedication." 

- John Burnside

Red-Tailed Hawk

Red-Tailed Hawk / Oil on black canvas / 4x4 / $48 including shipping

sold!

I FIND MYSELF WANTING to go places - even planning to go places - and then waffling, or pulling back entirely, because of the covid, and now, because of the new explosions of the covid. 

And when I look ahead, there seems no end to it. 

So I am remembering, again and again, to look on this time as a precious gift. Reminding myself to Live in This Moment. To be patient. To be kind. To try to be good to someone else. Do something to improve someone's day. 

It is not easy. What is easy is slipping back into my impatient, self-focused, hurried, complaining life. 

So I am trying to stay upright, to be grateful, and to look upon this as a special, different, positive time. 

***

For Today

Dead Tired

Walking very slowly

I looked up

And saw six red-tailed hawks

Circling over and over

Above my head. 

Pointing it out to my friend,

She said,

"Something must have died!"

Looking about

The area was empty

Except for me.

I began to move

A bit more quickly. 

- C.J. Krieger

Cooper's Hawk

Cooper's Hawk / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 / unframed / $68 including shipping

I LIKE HAWKS. And my maiden name was Cooper, so this seemed like a good hawk to choose as my first one. 

It won't be the last one. I have seen a bunch of hawks on this trip, big ones as well as kestrels, and I have fond memories of a red-shouldered hawk couple that nested - noisily - in the trees along our driveway in Connecticut. 

I loved hearing them squawk and grumble. Then, it was a delight to see and hear the young hawks in the nest, and watch the parents bring them food. 

Then one day, I was looking at the window and saw one of the hawk babies, down on the ground, sort of walking, or stomping. Worried that we had a developmentally disabled hawk baby on our hands, I called to Peter and made him come look. 

He knew that we were watching the baby hawk learn to hunt. And indeed, we were. In a while, he got a worm or a bug or something, and the next day, we saw him soar down from a tree branch and successfully hunt some little mouse or vole. 

***

For Today

BIRDS HAVE RELATIVELY large eyes compared to mammals. In general, birds' eyes are around twice the size (relative to body size) of those of mammals. 

The relative size of a bird's eyes varies from species to species. The birds with the largest eyes relative to body size are eagles, falcons and owls. 

To learn more about birds' eyesight (really interesting stuff), click here or go to https://www.activewild.com/bird-eyesight/