Carolina Wren

Carolina Wren / oil on black canvas/ 4x12 / $88, including shipping

sold! 

MY DAD IS 92, and right now, is in the hospital in Tucson. He has aspiration pneumonia - not covid, according to four covid tests, all of which have been negative. 

Sunday, he was doing better, sitting up, watching football. Today, he can't swallow. 

He is 92, and before this, was doing well. A couple days pre-pneumonia, he and his wife went out and walked a mile, and Dad said he was feeling great. Pain that had plagued him for the past few months had gone away, the day was beautiful and he was happy. 

He has had a good life, and neither he nor Paula, not any of us, is ready for it to be over. Who among us ever is? I am concentrating on how strong he is, what good genes he has, how remarkable his optimism and resilience are, and how he cherishes his life and his wife.

So, think a good thought, say a small prayer, hold your loved ones close and live every moment as fully and richly as you can. 

***

Coda

"Life isn't about getting and having; it's about giving and being." 

- Kevin Kruse

 

Fat Little Wren

Fat Little Wren / oil on black canvas / 5x7 / $68 including shipping

This bird has flown...

THE ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Peter's death is coming. It's Oct. 10, so it is still a ways off, but I can see it out there. A dark patch in the approaching future. 

I told my counselor that I am dreading this anniversary, and she asked why, and the question brought me up short. Partly, I realized, it's because anniversaries by their very nature demand measurement - of time passing, of accomplishments, of healing - and there is something in me that feels, always, always, that when there is something to be measured, I will come up short. 

Those of you who know me well probably have seen this in me for years, but today was the first moment that I recognized it in myself. 

And whether I would or wouldn't measure up isn't the point. The point is, really, for me, at least, that there is no measurement. There is no set rate of recovery, of re-entry into the atmosphere of the living, of daily life, of the joyous. 

Even if there were something like that, there is no one to do the measuring. And even if there were both of those things, who cares? I am doing as well as I can, and that is all that anyone can ask of herself. 

***

Dog of the Day

IT'S KOKO, on home base. Almost every morning, the dogs and I walk with our friend Liesl. We let everyone run in the fenced-in ballpark down the street, and Lulu races like a rocket around the entire field, while Dr. Cooper sometimes runs with her and sometimes just lopes a bit, and Koko, bless her heart (in the southern sense of the phrase) just hangs around home. 

***

For Today

Reunion

Already one day has detached itself from all the rest up ahead.
It has my photograph in its soft pocket.
It wants to carry my breath into the past in its bag of wind.

I write poems to untie myself, to do penance and disappear
Through the upper right-hand corner of things, to say grace.

- Charles Wright

House Wren on Black

House Wren on Black / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 / $68 includes shipping

sold!

WELL, MY BIG NEWS is that I now have my very own Zoom Room. I don't know how to use it yet, though I am learning on my own, and also have a tutorial scheduled. I have participated in a number of Zoom meetings, and that's been fun in a sort of Brady Bunch kind of way. 

I've been giving free painting workshops on Facebook Live on Saturdays at 1 p.m. (there will be one this Saturday, if all goes well), and I'm going to be doing a short series for the Academy for Lifelong Learning this fall. I want to keep doing the freebees, but I also want to start some for-profit workshops and demos - and what else? 

I've already thought of online painting parties, for kids and adults. I've thought of private lessons. I've thought of a series of lessons that I record and you take at your own pace. I've thought of paint-a-thon fund-raisers (What does this mean? How would this work? I have no idea, but I think there's a kernel of something there). I would like to take a painting trip at some point, and would do live plein-air demos from far afield, if I can get (or bring) a wifi connection. 

What ideas do you have? What would you like to see me do online, from my Zoom Room? I'd open to all thoughts and musings - and they don't have to be for-profit. Now that I have this thing, I'd like to have fun with it! 

***

For Today

"I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." 

- Eric Roth

Two Wrens

Two Wrens / Oil on cradled beech / 3x9 / $48 including shipping

These birds have flown! Sold!

THIS PAINTING IS A DEPARTURE for me on several levels. First, it's on wood - a box-like structure of beech, called "cradled beech." I usually paint on canvas, but saw this in the art-supply store and decided to try it. It was fun to paint on, but a little small, and deeper than my regular canvases. So I probably won't be doing a whole lot of paintings on this support - though it would be nice for a small, vertical floral. 

This is the first of three (so far) paintings of birds on plain black canvas. Those of you who have followed my painting for years know that I am often entranced by images at this point - on the black canvas, without color or pattern. I often want to leave them like this, because it highlights the images so strongly. But I have found that many people don't like the black. 

So - if you love the image but don't like the black, I will paint over it for you, with a color or colors of your choice. Or, if you'd like me to decide and paint whatever background I think would work, that's OK, too. Just let me know! 

And maybe you will like the birds on the black background. We shall see. 

***

A Final Thought

"I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird 

and not enough the bad luck of the early worm." 

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wren Looking Down

Wren Looking Down / oil on black canvas / 4x4 / $38 includes shipping

sold!

MY BRAVE AND HAPPY DOGS have a few deep terrors, and they were all on display last night.

Lulu never showed any fear of anything until Independence Day. A neighbor down the street had been setting off fireworks for hours, and while the dogs were in the house, none had paid them any mind. But while Doc and Lulu were still out, a couple fireworks went off, and I found Lulu huddled on the doorstep, shaking.

Last night, thunder boomed and lightning sparked, and through the storm was miles away, (sadly - we've had no rain since June), it was enough to make Lulu plaster herself against me, where she stayed all night, hot and solid, but apparently safe enough, with me to guard her.

Terror No. 2 was Koko's, and I caused it, knowingly.

Though I am living in a cave these brutally hot days, with all the curtains drawn and only the most necessary lights on, I'd foolishly cooked a pan of quinoa, and the heat from that one culinary endeavor had pumped the temp in the living room into the 80s - and this, despite the fact that the A/C is working as well as it can.

So I apologized to my dear Carolina Dog, and then I turned on the ceiling fan and watched as Terror No. 2 took hold. Koko's ears flattened, her tail went between her legs and she ran, slinking, low to the ground, into the bedroom, where she stayed until long after I'd shut off the fan. Because of her, I almost never use it, but it sure cooled the house down.

Terror No. 3 came as we were going to bed. Koko, Woody, Lulu and I were in bed, but Doc was... where was he? I called. Nothing. No little clicking toenails, no lumpish flop on the other corner of the bed. I got up, to make sure I hadn't left him in the yard, and no, I hadn't. He was inside - standing near the place where the living room ends and you turn to go into my bedroom.

This is apparently a scary corner - Abby used to be regularly afraid of it, for no reason that anyone could ever see. And here was Doc, clearly terrified and unwilling to walk past whatever it was. Far as I could see, it was nothing. An unadorned corner. Haunted? A sudden memory of Puffy? (From time to time, she would sit in that corner and swat the dogs).

I saw nothing. A box on the floor seemed to be capturing his attention - but it had been there for days, so it seemed unlikely that this was the Scary Thing. Still, I moved it and called him and called him and finally, he scrabbled around the corner, nails slipping on the fake-wood floor, like a cartoon dog whose paws spin and spin before gaining purchase. I am glad to report that he made it safely into the bedroom.

I always wonder what they can see and hear and sense that we don't - and most days, I'd do pretty much anything to trade places for five minutes. But not last night!

Here's everybody, safe and sound. That's Koko in the back, with the big ears. Lulu Belle is lower left, and Dr. Cooper is snuggled in between the girls. 

***

For Today

"We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us."

- Anonymous

Singing Wren

Singing Wren / oil on black canvas / 5x7 / $68 including shipping

sold!

I'VE BEEN WANTING to get rid of Peter's couch, the couch where he was lying when he had the heart attack that killed him. He didn't die on that couch, and certainly, that couch had nothing to do with his death, but every time I looked at it, I remembered. And so I'd come to hate it. I had covered it with a sheet and pretty much given it to the dogs. But I wanted it out of my life. 

A friend introduced me to Pastor Rob, who has started a second-hand store a bit south of here. Items and money from the store help people who have just gotten out of rehab and jail. 

On Tuesday, when it was too hot in the studio to paint, I spent a few hours going through Peter's office stuff, and throwing a lot of it away. I tossed 23 of the 25 issues of B&W Magazine, which showcased a photograph of his that had placed in a nationwide contest. I tossed 15 of 18 CDs of his pictures, CDs he had made to send to shows, back when entry regs required CDs and not just online examples. I threw away his dog-chewed copy of "Covenant," which he had read more times than I ever knew. And I threw out a shoebox full of sympathy cards. I read them all, and appreciated each one, but I could not keep them. It was a box of sorrow. This was difficult, all of this. 

Later that day, Rob and Steve came over and got the couch and two of the five bookcases we had. As they drove away, my heart broke again and again. I felt like I had broken again. 

I knew I wanted this stuff gone, had to have it gone. Of course, there were the memories, buying the bookshelves together, assembling the couch - and those memories were part of what hit me. But seeing those things go, I had my first real look at the next phase of my life, and my first real, true understanding that this next part will be without him. 

I've been able to paint, and cook, to deal with the dogs, to shop and garden and see my friends because I did them when he was alive. They are through-lines - and so, doing them has not signified as life without him. 

But when Pastor Rob drove off, I saw - for the first time, in a visceral, heartfelt, non-intellectual way, that the next part of my life will not have Peter in it. And I understood for the first time, why I've been able - with relative ease - to do some things in this life, and have been totally unable to do many other things. 

***

For Today

"A year from now, you will wish you had started today." 

- Karen Lamb

Two Wrens

Two Wrens / Oil on black canvas / 4x12 / 
$72 sale price, including shipping / $68 for blog readers! 

sold!

THE VIRTUAL SIDEWALK SALE of the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts is now on - and it runs through Sunday. Most of my current available paintings are on sale, on my website, Jacobson Arts (http://jacobson-arts.com), and shipping is free during the sale. 

Because you all are so faithful and supportive, you get a special deal on this painting, or on any of the paintings on the website. If you want any of them - and you want an additional discount (some people do not!), please email me and I'll let you know the blog-reader price. It might not be much off, but to show my appreciation for your faithful readership, I will take at least a bit more off, if you like. 

***

For Today

He who shall hurt the little wren

Shall never be beloved by men. 

- William Blake

Australian Fairy Wren

Australian Fairy Wren / Oil on black canvas / 5x7 / $68 includes shipping

Sold!

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF an Australian Fairy Wren, but I swear, I did not make it up. I was looking for photos of wrens, and this spectacularly colored turquoise and azure and royal and sapphire blue creature showed up and blew me away. 

Usually, I only paint birds I know. I am comfortable doing that, and it makes me happy. I don't care if I paint 30 cardinals and 50 wrens, 100 chickadees and 500 robins - they are my backyard friends, and their songs, their nests, their flitting selves at my feeders help create the warp and the woof of my days. I could paint them forever, and I probably will. 

People send me bird photos all the time, and I do love looking at them. But most of the exotics that people send (and this is what they send) are beyond my skills, especially if I've never seen them in real life. 

What I like best about the bird paintings, I think, is the character and personality of the birds. Capturing those things, in the tilt of the head or the set of the beak - insouciance, or braggadocio, or jauntiness - or just a little chickadee innocence - this makes me happy. And those things are things I've learned from watching my backyard birds.

But there was something wrenny about the Australian Fairy Wren, and then, there were those colors. My brother once said to me that he thought that if blue didn't exist, I probably wouldn't be able to paint. And he might be right. 

***
For Today

"The chief enemy of creativity is good sense."

- Pablo Picasso

House Wren

House Wren / Oil on black canvas / 5x7  / $68 includes shipping

sold!  

REMEMBER THE TIME BEFORE what my brother calls The Great Confinement? Of course you do - even I do, with my ever-faultier memory.

Do you remember shaking hands? Hugging? Sharing food at restaurants? Restaurants themselves?

This morning, I found myself thinking about some of the small things - like using paper towels with abandon! Oh, sure, frugal me would go a little nutty when Peter would yank off five or six paper towels to dry his hands, but aside feeding my Scottish penny-pinchingness, it was unimportant. 

Now, I find myself drying my hands on a dishtowel, usually (I despise this) - and putting damp paper towels in a basket to dry out and be used again, to wipe the floor or clean up canine indiscretions, or wipe off my palette knives. 

I haven't seen a roll of paper towels for sale here on the Shore since the beginning of March. 

And speaking of the dogs, it now falls to me to do the, uh, prospecting. At regular intervals, I walk the yard with a plastic bag and a little scooper and see what I can mine. I remember when this was the nastiest thing that could happen to my hands. Now, compared to the Covid, the nuggets seem benign. 

Some Facebook posts that have been going around have made me laugh - "Remember when we were all terrified of Romaine lettuce?" and this one - "Every time I sneeze now, I wonder if it's allergies, or if I have only five days to live."

I usually don't talk about all this virus stuff in the blog, but the paper towel thing got me going this morning. I am glad there is a little bit of a light side, from time to time. 

***

Be My Patron! 

FOLLOWING IN THE FOOTSTEPS of Peggy Guggenheim, Charles Saatchi, Paul Durand-Ruel and flotillas of Medicis, you can become a patron of the arts! Well, you probably already are a patron of the arts - but you could become a patron of THIS artist. 

Here's how it works - you sign up to give me bits of your hard-earned cash, and you get goodies, including first dibs on my sales and my collections, free shipping on everything, even big paintings, and the delights of being in my inner circle. My patrons often give me ideas and criticism, and it's always wonderfully beneficial to me.

Best of all, you have the extra added joy of knowing that you're helping to keep me going. 

I have five patrons right now, and I rejoice in each and every one of them. 

To find out more, please click here, to visit my Blue-Sky Patronage Plans page

***

For Today

"Paradoxically though it might seem, it is nonetheless true 

that life imitates art far more than art imitates life." 

- Oscar Wilde

Carolina Wren

Carolina Wren / Oil on black canvas / 4x4 unframed / $68 including shipping

sold! 

THE WIND WOKE ME Tuesday night, howling of limbs and branches and the tearing off of spring blooms. It screamed of winter's not-yet-ended grip on our nights and our mornings. It called to the dark and jagged places in me, where loss and sadness and anger dwell, and it scared me a little, reaching through the windows and the walls, through the blue metal roof, and into the sleeping warmth of the dogs, my only companions, curled with me in the too-big bed.

***

For Today

"Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark."

-Rabindranath Tagore